Since every individual is unique, trauma effects everyone differently. Historically many victims have been reluctant to share their experiences due to intense feelings of shame and fear of consequences. One in five of them will be girls and one in twenty boys. Department of Health and Human Services’ Children’s Bureau estimates that about one in ten children will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. The prevalence of childhood sexual abuse is difficult to measure accurately because it is often not reported, but the U.S. Unfortunately stories like Denise’s are all too common. Her aunt explained to her that her mother married the first man to come along as a way to get out of the house. She informed Denise that Denise’s mother had also been sexually abused as a child by an uncle but would never talk about it.
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She also shared a little secret with Denise.Ī Woman is in agony, sitting alone in an empty room. With tears in her eyes her aunt embraced her and told her it was not her fault. Fortunately Denise’s aunt was kind and nurturing.Īlthough Denise had been afraid to confide in her aunt for fear that her aunt would throw her away too, she finally shared her secret. When her mother finally walked in one night to witness the abuse herself, she became enraged, accusing Denise of trying to seduce her boyfriend out of jealousy.ĭenise’s mother then sent Denise away to live with her aunt, her mother’s sister, with whom she lived until she was an adult. Her mother berated her for not being happy for her that she had finally found a man to take care of her and love her since her “no-good father” had abandoned them. Initially, her mother did not believe her and accused her of being jealous and trying to sabotage her relationship. When she was fourteen, Denise finally found the courage to come forward. She could still smell the stale odor of alcohol on his breath as he would crawl on top of her, crushing her with his fat, sweaty body, thrusting his tongue in her mouth. She would lie in bed, praying that tonight would be the night he would drink too many beers and pass out on the couch, but it seemed her prayers always went unanswered. She used to pretend to be asleep, but she knew it was coming. Every time a man tries to kiss her or touch her, she feels her body tense up and become rigid, feeling completely smothered like she did when her mom’s boyfriend used to sneak into her bed at night. However, the idea of allowing herself to be vulnerable fills her with intense discomfort. She feels lonely and desperately wants a partner with whom to share life and perhaps even start a family. She goes out on dates but has difficulty letting down her guard and allowing herself to really be herself.